Hello All! Faith is a strong thing to have as you move on in your life. Some people use the saying "Have Faith" or "Have a little faith", this one word means so many different things. I didn't grow up going to Church, my parents never pushed religion on to me. However my babysitter would take me to church with her and her family every Sunday. Sadly I stopped going and after certain events in my life had lost all faith in God. My exact statement was "If God was looking out for me, then this bad thing would never had happened to me." So, I drifted away from God, and lived life for me. I was in my Junior year of High school when I truly hit rock bottom. Now everyone has different definitions for "rock-bottom", but for me I lost one of my closest long time friends. Sure, there was more than just my choices that kind of drifted us apart, but it was to the point where she couldn't bare being my friend. After she had stopped being my friend, I began to question why I am even going on with such a petty life. My parents constantly fought about me (other things too, but mostly me), my grades were shot, and I had minimum friends. I met a guy during lunch someone who I would see around school but didn't think about talking to him. His name is John, he worked in the school store with me at the end of the day (at this point our schedules in school had changed so we were in the same study hall) and we got talking about everything. John has grown up in Church, and he has been a lifetime Christian. Aside from him asking if I would like to go to church with him, we would hang out and have a lot of fun. John picked me up from the dark place I was in, and to this day we are best friends. It wasn't until about 7 months ago when I began my transition into Christianity, and this past Friday (February 4) and was "born-again". I sat in my car and told John everything I have ever done, and confessed my sins to him. A true christian does not judge, and John didn't he listened intently to what I was saying. Even though God had already known everything about me and what I had done, I still felt that the only way I would feel completely saved by Jesus Christ was to confess to someone under God. Since I first began going to church, I have been coping with my past and the only way I could get over that was by Forgiving the person who had abused me, and though I don't think I would ever truly forgive him, I am starting a new a forgetting my past. That is what it means to be "born-again". I live my life for God and whatever he needs me to do, I will oblige because I trust in him that he will lead me into heaven.
On February 13th, 2016 my husband and I welcomed to our family a little boy whose name is Elisha Kenneth. It was in that moment when everything changed for me. I was now and forever a Mom - capital "M". One day I was driving to Church, same route I always take and I look in my rear view mirror at my son who knows of no malice he is simply sleeping away in his car seat with the sweetest and calmest face of content. In that moment it dawns on me. I love him so much. I remember the feeling I had when I found out he was a real thing. The feeling I had the moment I told his Father about him. The feeling I had when I saw him for the first time. The first time I heard his heartbeat. The time we found out he was a he. The moment when we walked through the hospital doors knowing that when we walked out we would have a baby boy. I had a rush of one feeling all in that moment while driving -- LOVE . And what followed afterward, nothing but sadness. Sadness and
I abs love this. You have been through so much in your life, I am so glad to see that things are starting to make sence to you and you have finally found your faith again <3
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